poseur-esque.net

If you've ever wondered whether you were fake
Chances are that you're living the lie
I'm sick of this scene but it won't let me out
Blame my self-doubt
Wanna curl up and die.

I wanna look in the mirror,
Decide it's not me
It's a disease.
Uncurable. Unshakable.
It spreads quicker and faster
Every trend, every fad,
Every snap crackle in pop culture
I'm watching it happen but I do nothing to stall.

Can't stand it
My jeans are pinching
I wanna take them off
But only for the next band member
That hops off that bus.

Monologue 001: A Rant for Karen

Natalie is a 16-year-old girl, wallflowering at her school dance. She is ranting to her friend Karen, upset about a debacle she just had with the boy she likes at the dance.

Natalie: How could he do that? Say that he wanted to dance with me and then avoid me the rest of the night? The worst part is that it didn't work and I found him, So of course he had to dance with me, only we didn't really dance, we just stood there staring at eachother awkwardly until I couldn't take it anymore and left, which is when I found you. Oh and you should have seen Megan too! She was looking at me like I was some lame joke! (pause) Well yeah I knew that, but he only went with Megan as friends!

Oh god now he's coming this way for some punch...why do you hang out by the punch bowl anyway? Oh god, he sees me doesn't he? I'm not upset enough to cry but I wish I was crying right now just to make him feel like a jerk. (beat) You know what? You're right! He is a jerk! Yeah I was upset but...now...now I'm just pissed!!! Why would someone lead another person on like that!?! He was trying to be NICE?!? If he wanted to be nice he could have done me a favor and just said no, instead of lying to me, getting my hopes up and then shattering them into little pieces! Oooh I am sooo over him!

(she begins to walk away, back toward the dance floor) Thanks for everything Karen, your pep talk helped so much that I'm going to go out there and start dancing again. Oh and by the way, I'm really sorry you got laryngitis, hope you get better soon!

Teen Angst: Cheese with that Whine?

so im really sad about not being able to play the guitar because my lyrics sound really dopey in my head. i wish i could put it to chords but i have like zilch musical prowess. if i had the actual song then maybe i could give it a name.

since ive had no expectations whatsoever about summer i'd say its pretty chill. i must say that im not hanging out as much as i would like to but its okay.

lately i've been waking up in the morning to TRL. sad thing to watch. huh? it's because my room tv doesn't get FUSE and i am too lazy to get to the living room

wednesday i went to the movies with jade and kenny. Superman Returns was a-mah-zing.

thursday was my uncle's civil wedding ceremony reception. saw the cabison side. haven't seen them in awhile.

today i went to my uncle ben's funeral viewing. it was really sad and depressing but we saw joe and therese twice in one week and declared it an accomplishment.

right now i am attempting to stay up before we leave for las vegas. yeah. las vegas for the 20 millionth time. i am so sick of vegas. we leave at 5 AM tomorrow morning. thats in about 6 hours or so. i am really kind of annoyed about it because i can't even stand two days in vegas. so how am i going to last like almost a WEEK. i even brought my summer reading assignment. that's how bored i anticipate i am going to be. i guess my game plan is to hang out by the pool the whole time. and then when i'm not hanging out by the pool i am indulging on room service and other food-type amenities that the resort has to offer. i might even start running. but i think the real reason they are bringing me along is because someone has to babysit William. i don't even get paid rawr. I'll probably convince my mom to let me splurge on some stuff though. we are also going to watch this Cirque du Soleil act that has something to do with Beatles songs? yeah it sounds tacky but it was either that or Phantom of the Opera. and i am sick of Phantom of the Opera. hopefully i can get away with meeting a cute boy or something.

so what i do have to look forward to is later in the week. like disneyland. and pirates of the caribbean: dead man's chest. and then the tuesday after that is VANS Warped Tour and how could i not be excited by that? i've only been waiting since april.

still i wish i could go to Taking Back Sunday + Angels and Airwaves.

oh well.

Jack of Hearts - Original Song Lyrics

[Verse]
You sent your jackhammer
straight through their hearts
chiseled them apart
left them broken and lost.

Now you wanna say you love me?
Well now I wanna say
I've got news for you,
It doesn't work that way

[Chorus]
They told me about you
You're a Jack of Hearts.
You're not hard to find.
Just look for the girls
and their tears trailing behind

You're a Jack of Hearts
but your luck's run out this game
Cuz i'm folding this hand
I'm not going through pain

[Verse]
I closed my eyes,
I picked a card
That's when we met,
you came out of the deck.

I thought you were a King,
But you caught me by surprise
When you proved to me
you were a Joker in disguise.

[Repeat Chorus]