So there was this bear...

The problem with me is that I am "gifted and talented." Sometime around second grade, i took a test and the school labeled me (and a few other kids in my grade) as gifted and talented. I think all it means is that things came easier to us. We grasped concepts faster, solved problems quicker, like something in our brain just clicked and we learned. Also, it was something our parents could brag about.

I think it was a terrible idea to tell us that.

The onset of my laziness occurred when they told me I was gifted and talented, and that things would come easier to me. I took that as a free pass to stop working.

Ok, so I was in second grade and I probably didn't reach such an epiphany, but still. In retrospect, it probably started there. It's okay in primary school, all the kids get the same assignments and teachers are willing to help students succeed, but once high school hits it's a different ball game.

Once a kid gets to high school, it's a microcosm of the real world. Darwinism takes effect and the new rule is survival of the fittest. For the G&T kid, all those years of kicking back and letting things come easier are out the window and useless. Your study habits are nonexistent and suddenly you're in the rat race. They've separated the kids so that the competition is leveled and suddenly "Gifted and Talented" isn't so special anymore. Suddenly everyone in your class is gifted and talented, some more than others. The same quality of work is expected from every student and if you fall behind, a teacher might help a little bit by giving you an extension or a tip here and there, but other than that you're left in the wild to fend for yourself.

Yup. That day in second grade was the day of my demise.

Oh and there's that whole pathological compulsive liar thing, but that's not really that big of a problem.

Monologue 003: DGAF.

NATALIE: So you've chosen to ignore me. After everything, that's the decision you've made. Awesome. I guess I put too much faith in you. I guess I thought you were a better person than that. From the beginning I have been straight up with you and I don't regret a single thing I've said or done, but I'm done trying. I've wasted time, effort, energy, integrity, emotion, in attempt to get things back to the way they were. If someday you wanna try again, by all means, I'll welcome it. But it's your turn, I'm not going to make it my job anymore. If you don't make a move, I'll be okay with that too. If that's how you want it, then I'm probably better off anyway. But honestly? When it comes down to it?

I dgaf.

Dive

She took the plunge
With closed eyes she jumped in
Without a care in the world
But now she's drowning

In thoughts, doubts flooding her mind
She's being choked by the stress
It's tightening round her chest

She breathes
But now she's in too deep
She can't swim to the surface
She can't swim to the surface

So dive! Will you go in and save her?
So dive! Before tears eliminate her
Dive in

All she needs is someone to hold her
Tell her the words she needs to hear
Someone to make it all clear
And her anxieties will rest at ease

She breathes
But now she's in too deep
She can't swim to the surface
She can't swim to the surface

So dive! Will you go in and save her?
So dive! Before tears eliminate her.

She forgot what it's like to be alive
To remind her all you have to do is dive

Catchy Titles: An Imaginary Tracklisting

A laundry list of thing that all mean "I just don't like you that way"

Friends to the End (Misery loves Company)

Text Secrets (and Lies)

3AM

Brutally Honest

I'm a Bitter Betsy

You're So Vain (I Bet You Think My Status is About You)