Self-doubt

What is it going to take to get me to believe in myself again? It's the type of confidence that needs to come from within, I keep digging but I come up with nothing. I hear encouraging words but I don't listen. I'm afraid this will continue and I'll dig too deep. I won't resurface. I'll be too far gone.

Too impatient, too frustrated, too fickle. I give up too easily.

I can see it all happening in my brain but my body interprets it differently. I can see other dancers doing it, but not me.
BOOOOO.

Some thoughts on LeBron...

I originally wrote the following in an email to my Mom (yes, my mom and I are the big sports fans in the household) on February 2, 2010 aka before the sports world disliked LeBron. I love being right.

I'll never say it in public but I really think LeBron has potential to be better and he's already more popular than Kobe (I know for a fact the jersey count is really just because Laker fans buy multiples, HA). I never really hear a person say "I Hate LeBron James" (except for me during games vs. the Lakers). But you will always hear contrasting answers when Kobe's name is mentioned. LeBron's body is just built for basketball and he has a charisma that fills seats and is amazing to WITNESS. Comparable to that of MJ. But it's just like the MVPuppets commercial, LeBron isn't hungry. I don't see his killer instinct, willingness to take over the game (because the game is usually already his), effort to make his supporting cast better, work to improve his own game. He seems like he's resting on his laurels and relying on the talent he already has. Granted, he's got a ton of talent. Sure "his leadership has improved" but what does that really say? I feel like that's always a cop out when critics can't think of areas where players have gotten better. I'm staring at LeBron's career averages and there's really no dramatic difference with the exception of his rookie year and his sophomore year, and this is on a team BUILT AROUND HIM. I mean...what is he working on? Take the first 5 years of both of their careers and you see Kobe steadily improving on a team that wasn't built around him. His highest career averages appear in the post-Shaq, no championship years when the franchise WAS BUILT AROUND HIM. Putting up pretty much the same numbers as LeBron on a team built around him. LeBron literally spikes after his second year and then plateaus up to now.

As far as charisma, this is why I like Kobe. Kobe isn't particularly appealing to the general public which is why they call him one of the most polarizing players in the NBA. He doesn't give you much reason to like him other than the fact that he's an amazing player and you have to respect him. He let's his game speak to his greatness. You see it in interviews, always so quiet, calculating, thoughtful. He doesn't rap after a victory like LeBron or crack jokes with a goofy attitude like Dwight and Shaq. I know he's capable because he does it with the team and what not, but during games it's all business. It doesn't make for great PR when he's so serious all the time in front of a camera. I mean honestly, this is a face only a mother and/or a hardcore laker fan could love:

Smile Kid worth Smiling About? An Album OPINION.

It's not a review, it's just what I think! Instead I'm just going to post the unrefined opinions that I formed during my first couple straight play-thru's of the album.

We The Kings - Smile Kid (2009) 

I appreciated, even worshipped We the Kings so much for cooking up a plethora of songs with bubbling verses that boiled over to unapologetic pop-punk choruses. Soaring melodies, bouncy rhythmic combos and cutesy "I wish these words were written about me" lyrics were what originally got the masses (myself included) falling and fangirling for the power pop quartet from Bradenton, Florida. In their presence, audiences were bouncing up and down to the beat whether they were aware of it or not. The band's 2009 release, Smile Kid, follows the same winning formula (as I expected and hoped) but for one reason or another failed to achieve the same body-snatching quality that I was possessed by from the 2007 release.

If you want the bottom line and the bottom line is "Did I like the album?" I'll say yes. Am I nitpicking? Yes, but we're always harsh on the things we love the most

It confuses me that I don't know what I want from these guys because everything that is essential WTK is entirely present and identifiable, I just can't immediately pinpoint what I don't like other than my reaction is "I don't like it." Are the hooks still catchy? Yes! Are the beats still bouncy? Yes! Are the lyrics still cutesy? Yes!

SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT? 

Concerning Choruses: It seems to me like the chorus sections of this album are less effective in comparison to the ones off their self-titled album and suddenly their winning formula sounds terribly cliche to me. The lyrics don't evoke the same emotional response from me that I want to feel when I usually listen to this stuff.

Concerning Production: I also have a bone to pick with the addition of new things such as synth and other production bells and whistles (literally) that adorn the songs. Certain elements that should be perceived as playful (i.e. the salsa-inspired whistles and ay-oh-ay-oh backing vocals of Summer Love) just makes me think 'incredibly cheesy and overproduced.' I prefer to eat my pop-punk raw, thank you very much. Not saying I hate production! I just feel like it should be done sparingly for the best effects. Like, where are the strings that made me fall in love with Secret Valentine? I wouldn't mind seeing those again!

Concerning Backing Vocals: Yes, backing vocals on songs like Whoa made me smile uncontrollably off the first album but now that they appear in a majority of the songs the effect is lost on me.

Concerning Bridges: In the words of Robert Plant, "Where's the bridge?" They used to be these earth-shattering moments in We the Kings songs (most notably in my head, Skyway Avenue), but there isn't a bridge on the entire album that sticks out to me.

Concerning We'll Be A Dream: Raise your hand if you were scared about this cameo by Disney kid Demi Lovato! I promised myself that I would look at it objectively despite any biases/jealousy I harbor towards Demi Lovato. The girl does have a talented voice, it's not an accident that she has a career, Disney just makes a joke out of her. ANYWAYS this isn't about her. While I admire the addition of female vocals (who doesn't love a good duet?), I just don't like the song. It drags, it isn't terribly powerful to me, and the intro riff sounds pretty much exactly like All Again For You. I also don't think that Demi and Travis have compatible voices. I would have rather heard Cassadee Pope a la Hey Monday, she just has a higher pitched pop edge that I think would be perfect to belt out the track (see Candles by Hey Monday). Kudos for the music box opening though, I like music boxes.

In Summary: While I love that the Bradenton boys looked to branch out of their pigeon-holed pop-punk sound with some new additions and experimentation, most of the experiments missed the mark with me. Not saying that I don't want them to grow their sound, just saying I wasn't a fan of the way they decided to grow with this album. It hasn't knocked them out of my favorite bands list, but it leaves me with high hopes for their third release.

I imagine the next question would be: "Well jeepers Rosalie, what DID you like about this album? If you have all these complaints why aren't you thumbs-downing the crap out of it?"

I PROMISE I'M NOT ENTIRELY NEGATIVE!

Concerning We The Kings: Danny's drum pounding and Drew's bass work still make me want to get off my ass and shake it around in the face of the scene kid next to me. (The proverbial scene kid, that is. I don't actually have a scene kid next to me at the moment...but if I did, I assure you their face would need to watch out for my rump shaking and uncontrollable body spasms while jumping.) Travis Clark's voice still has the ability to get my heart a-twitter and Hunter's guitar melodies still appeal to my ear. They've stayed true to their strengths there, the foundation hasn't changed one bit and are completely structurally sound! It's just a couple of the building blocks that are a bit shaky to me.

Concerning Anna Maria (All We Need): This is my absolute favorite track on the album and I can't stop playing it. I've had a constant pep in my step and a perpetual head bob going thanks to this song being such an earworm for me. This is the way it should be! I feel like this track is what I was hoping for from a second album. Incredibly uplifting and is that a theremin? I like theremins. Or maybe it's just a wah-wah pedal. Well, WHATEVER is making that sound, it works for me. Someone check the liner notes and get back to me. The lyrical ties speak to me directly and the word emphasis falls in place nicely. I get that bashful feeling in my chest when they break out of the verse and pre-chorus into "My heart beats faster when I'm with you 'cause I know that you, you want me to. I swear to Hell I'll never leave 'cause I know one thing, love is all we need." I know you can't take me seriously about what I said before about being cheesy now since that's like one of THE cheesiest lines on the entire album but its delivery is what made it good for me. OH AND THERE'S A BRIDGE! Or a breakdown thingy. It isn't much to stick out in my mind as a good bridge section (see above) but it still breaks down the way a We the Kings song should! Then it slows down the way a We the Kings song should. Throughout, the backing vocals aren't too much, harmonic background vocals during the chorus sing my heartsong and the da-da-da's at the end of the song are used in a way that makes me sing along, not question why they're present.

Concerning Acoustic Versions: I didn't like Heaven Can Wait until I heard the acoustic version and actually listened to Travis singing the lyrics and the stripped down guitar lead break, which made me unashamedly go "AWWWWWWWWW." Acoustic versions of We the Kings songs have always had a special place in my heart. Secret Valentine, Skyway Avenue, Check Yes Juliet, Whoa, etc. etc. etc. All their songs just seemed to translate and add something so nicely acoustically. That's definitely not lost here.

Oh and I can't hate an album if they reference In-N-Out, with a song. It's what a hamburger's all about! So very West Coast. REPRESENT!

What is music? (cont.)

So I set down the question for a few days and went to an All-American Rejects concert in the meanwhile, and talked to my musician friend about it more as we drove to LA. The question turned more into "What is good music?" and "Is there an objective way to define good music?"

Well after the concert, I sought out my old AAR cd, guilty about its neglect. On my search, I ran into old CDs I used to love at one point in my life and popped them in one-by-one and listened to each of them all the way through remembering that I still loved it. Midway through relistening to the first CD on top of the pile (We the Kings - We the Kings [2007]) this conclusion popped into my head and I decided I had an answer.

Good music is music that is genuinely loved by its listener.

I turned inwards and realized that I spent my last year and a half in high school trying to impress these talented musician friends. I tricked them into thinking that I was a legit music critic, that I knew the pop music I had such an affection for required no skill, that my favorite bands were full of talentless hacks, that a simple four-chord melody was totally lame. I started to believe it. There was once a time where I was able to defend the bands I knew and loved, but no longer. It got worse as I spent my first quarter in college trying to convince people I was into obscure indie, or complicated art rock, or popular folk, or even doom metal. At the very least I let them think that I thought this music was "good" by telling them that I " was able to appreciate it for what it was worth." Crock of bullshit.

I died inside. I stopped liking music! At the very least I stopped having an opinion about music. Suddenly everything sounded pretty good to me. In reality I just didn't have the energy to care further than agreement. I had no talking points, no reason to negate or affirm anything. Well this madness stops now.

Anyways, follow-up question: "Is there a way to look at music objectively and know what's good and what's not?"

No. But that's what fuels the best things about music. Debate, argument, intellectual discussion, bringing people together! The truth was that this "music I was supposed to like" didn't light a fire inside me, inspire me, or make me feel passionate about anything and that was a terrible feeling. Good music should do that to you. Good music should make you want to pick up an instrument, dance around, tell a friend or tell the world about this new record, update your facebook status, WHATEVER. Good music gets you passionate enough to talk about it, to say something about it, to get into an argument with your best friend over it, to hop on a plane in the hopes of singing along with a chorus or two. Good music should make you wanna get off your ass and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. If it's done that, it's done its job.

I'm going to create a few conditions, in my opinion.

• The music must be made with honorable intentions.
• It goes back to passion. If the musician puts love in what he/she is creating then what he/she is creating deserves to be loved. Basically, I'm weeding out the capitalizing cash cows here.
• The music must be music.
• It sounds silly, but my friend Tyler once said  "I can open up two buckets of paint but it's not a painting until I do something with it." In other words, notes, sounds, chords, rhythms, lyrics, harmony, melody etc. etc. etc. must be put through a creative process.
• The listener must be acting on his/her own accord.
• This is important to me. The listener's opinion must be without the influence of others. None of this "It's good because (insert music critic/magazine/blog/trusted friend) said it was and I trust their opinion" bullshit. A true music fan trusts no opinion but their own. Music can be obtained through those avenues but at the end of the day, the music is in the hands of the fan. Music criticism takes the music out of the hands of the fans and that is why I hate music critics. They've created a tier of "experts" exists and people stop trusting themselves with their own opinions. Entire careers are built or broken with a single sentence and that is fucked up.

There, I said it.