So you don't like making out?
Three girls over the course of four days. Why? Because you can. I don't blame you but I've lost a little bit of respect for you. At least now there's proof that you like girls. HA! I'm not mad. There's no reason for me to be, but there will always be that part of me that wonders what it would have been like. I know why you weren't afraid to kiss them. There's no commitment involved, you don't have to see them everyday and they probably went into it too knowing it would mean nothing more. Oh well. I hope you brought enough man gloss.
It's probably not that big a deal.
So I happened to be standing there while you decided to brag to your friends about your "weekend achievements." Maybe I'm just assuming the worst. It's possible that you simply suckered another three poor girls into falling for you. Great. Congratulations. Have fun writing songs about them. Don't think I didn't know what you're doing. You mentioned it while I was there on purpose.
I know that I sound bitter...
But I'm really not. At least not anymore. And I know if I actually said any of this it would sound absolutely ridiculous, which is why I write. I am happy. I've written it and repeated that phrase a million times in the past two weeks. As much as I may (have?) want(ed?) more or wish we happened, I'm content with things the way they are. I don't hurt and I'm just searching for a new distraction. As soon as I get him I know I'll be okay.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen
If I actually told you all of this. I think it's all really unnecessary and it would probably change things or make them awkward or different. Which is why I keep it all to myself, but hot damn. There's a lot of bullshit you pull that I wish I could just call you out on without thinking about the consequences. But I don't say anything because I'm not supposed to care. You are who you are and I accept it. Trying to change you would be futile. My brother's the same way.
Am I just a notch in your bedpost? A line in a song?
Is that why you don't want a girlfriend? You get better songwriting material by brooding over your indecisiveness and whether you want one or not. Are you afraid of writing that sappy acoustic song about the girl you love? Even though I'm aware of exactly how nauseating such acoustic songs get (*cough cough* Francis and Kellie), I went all in trying to get you to write me that song. It's been a dream of mine since about 8th grade. HA. On the other hand I suppose I get where you are coming from because now that I'm happy, I've got nothing down between pen and paper lately.
